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Trigger(s) Warning & Fall Spice Salt Scrub



Honor a human or non human animal who inspires your veganism.

This is such a difficult prompt for me to expound on because my veganism isn’t really inspired by a being. I mean I’m sitting here trying to sort my thoughts on who this post can honor and I’m literally coming up dry. I mean sure I can talk about Mother Earth, VegKid, my fur babies, etc. but they don’t inspire my veganism. Veganism is just a part of who I am. 

My mind keeps wandering to my childhood though and that may mean it's linked to my veganism but I’m not really sure. Like I said, I’m sitting here sorting through my thoughts as I type, but I guess this explanation would probably be the closest thing to what this prompt is looking for; so here comes a little oversharing, TMI moment for you.

I thought my childhood was completely normal at the time. I didn’t think twice when my stepfather referred to my bi-racialism as literal “trash.” I didn’t realize that the children I went to school with weren’t punished by being forced to do naked jumping jacks at the top of the stairs while “dad” watched below. I didn’t realize that the teens I went to high school with weren’t having their pubic hair pulled out one-by-one for not doing the dishes to “dad’s” standards. I didn’t know that my mom didn’t know. To think the emotional, physical, and sexual abuse that secretly happened in my household from ages 3-17 was completely normal for me, sounds so ridiculous to say now, but it totally was.

At age 17, I was rebellious and had had enough. I told my mother I was moving out with little detail and she did exactly the opposite of what I thought she would: she dropped everything, left him, temporarily relocated us to my grandmother’s tiny house while she shopped for, and eventually bought, a new home for us. I was so fucking angry for a long time, but also really relieved that I was finally free from that incredibly abusive relationship. 

Flash forward a few years: how did I get here? I’m married (and pregnant) to my step-father (not my actual step-father but a man remarkably similar). He’s controlling, far more abusive, and adulterous. He withholds money and food and won’t allow me to use a cell phone. WTF, AMBER?! It wasn’t difficult at all to leave him once VegKid was born – turns out Mama Bear vibes are strong with this one especially after our first daughter was stillborn just 2 weeks after being kicked down a flight of stairs (of course, it wasn’t his fault though). 

In the first 2 years of VegKid’s life, I was really just trying to get my shit together. I lived in Phoenix, AZ and my closest family lived in Birmingham, Al so that made things pretty difficult but don’t let anyone tell you that your stubbornness is a problem cause that’s what got me through this all. I am so S T U B B O R N. When I decide I’m going to do something, or I want something, I make it happen and that’s basically what this whole post is about. I did a lot of soul searching and even more reading the first couple of years I was mom. During this time, I learned that these situations are that of abuse and that most likely the people who abused me, were also abused; it’s called repeating the cycle. FUCK THAT! I’m not doing that shit. I can’t harm another person. I won’t harm another person.

 I know this is all tangent-y but I guess I imagine this is what fuels my veganism. I can't bring myself to continue the cycle, that's not who I want to be. I've got a great kid and I'm now in the healthiest relationship of my entire 30 years alive - I can't screw this up now. I can’t bring myself to violence. I can’t ethically participate in the mass slaughter of animals that are conceived and born for the soul purpose of our consumption, as if my life is any more important than any of the other lives around me.

My veganism = breaking the cycle.

I guess that’s it. I guess I'm gonna wrap this up. I could go on for days on this topic and it definitely feels like I have already. I’m feeling vulnerable and kinda out there. So as soon as I’m done typing I’m going to honor myself with a warm bath, maybe some X-Files, definitely a glass of wine; who knows I might even get romantic with myself and light a candle.

It seems kinda screwed up to put a recipe with this post, but I know that’s what everyone comes here for; so I’ve included the recipe for my homemade Fall Spice Salt Scrub, just in case you want to honor yourself too.



 Fall Spice Salt Scrub

1 1/2 c epsom salt
1 c brown sugar
1 c veggie oil

1 tbsp ground cinnamon
1 tsp ground star anise 
1 tsp ground nutmeg
1 tsp ground allspice
1 tsp vanilla extract 
couple of drops of sweet orange essential oils 
  1. Feel good about you.
  2. Mix it all together.
  3. Rub it on your skin.
  4. Clean, moisturize, and exfoliate your epidermis. 
  5. Feel good about you.



Tomorrow: Lunch on the Go, see y'all there.
ICYMI: Here's MoFo'n Day 17:  Local Cuisine from Boise Idaho: Finger (Portobello) Steaks

Can't get enough? I'm all over the place, let's follow each other (cause that doesn't sound creepy, at all!)  InstagramTwitterFacebook, and Pinterest.  Nothing makes me heart more full than when people let me know they've tried my recipes. If you wanna help make my heart happy you can # vegan4one, comment on the post, post on my wall, tweet at me; whichever socials you feel comfy with.

All the love,

Amber

Comments

  1. Amber. This post is stunning. I'm sorry you have suffered so much, and I celebrate with you your emergence from the ashes!!!! Your story is so personal, and yet I am so touched by "my veganism = breaking the cycle." In my own way, I also experienced violence as a young person, and I was left with a lot of fear and confusion from it, but also with a strong empathy to know how it feels to be scared and vulnerable. Your statement resonates SO deeply with me, and you said it better than I did. Thank you so much. I hope you enjoyed your bath. Xo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Amey,

      Thanks so much for reading. I honestly didn't think anyone would. This was so scary for me to post, but your comment and support has already made it well worth it.

      <3

      Delete
    2. Anonymous10:12

      Wow, this is such an intense post. I'm so sorry that you have had to go through so much hurt in your life but I'm positively inspired that you could take something so horribly awful and use it to be a better person. Sending lots of love your way. <3

      Delete
    3. thanks for the love :)

      Delete
  2. You sound like an incredibly strong individual. Thank you for sharing your story. x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thanks so much for reading it.

      Delete
  3. I feel like becoming vegan for these reasons is such a triumph, and so relieving to hear, a person became vegan because they associate violence against humans with violence against animals. Veganism is against all violence and I'm so glad you've been able to point that out so clearly. It gives me strength to hear about your strength. Thank you so much for sharing this, and I am so proud of you, without ever knowing you.
    Much love to you,
    KZ

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thank you so much. you don't know how good your comment made me feel.

      Delete
  4. I just want to say: I'm here, I read this, I see you. As one human being to another, I recognize and celebrate your intrinsic strength. (Continue to) take good care. All my best to you and those you hold dear.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. i appreciate you taking the time to read this piece of my story and all the support. so much love.

      Delete
  5. I echo what everyone else has commented and to send you a hug xxx

    ReplyDelete
  6. Such a great post. Thank you for being brave enough to write AND publish it. I'm sure it took a lot of guts to do both. What a great reason for being vegan. Thanks for sharing.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. totally. I almost didn't post it and then once I did I almost deleted it. Luckily my spouse, BandMan, always knows just the perfect thing to say. He encouraged me to do whatever felt right and posting it, not posting it, or deleting it didn't change me and affirmed his love for me. it was a great bonding moment for me.

      Delete
  7. Amber, you are such a strong and amazing individual; thank you for sharing your story! <3

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. i actually can't believe people are reading it...i honestly didn't think anyone would. i appreciate you.

      Delete
  8. Such a powerful post. Thank you for sharing.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thank you so much for reading

      Delete
  9. Anonymous05:40

    Holy crap, this was such a powerful and touching and inspiring and terrifying post all at once. I'm so sorry to hear about everything you have gone through, but you sound like one tough cookie! Thanks for sharing, I hope you enjoyed your evening of self-love xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. i most certainly did! thanks so much for taking time to read a little bit of my story. It means a lot to me.

      Delete
  10. Anonymous06:14

    Very sorry that you had to go through that. You articulate your reasons for choosing a non-violent life very well, and the vegan community is lucky to have people like you advocating all non-violence as the way to go. If "stubborn" has too many negative connotations, I'd say "tenacious" would be a great adjective for you! Good luck.

    ReplyDelete

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